If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
