i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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