:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
