My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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