Heybabeimwearingurpanties
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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