God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
