We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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