I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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