all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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