when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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