between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
