I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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