Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
40s are totally the cure
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
