So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
