at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Randomize
