Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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