U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
