Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
