I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
