i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
