i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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