I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I believe in your delicious
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