If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize