I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
operation harelip BJ is a go
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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