when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
