I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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