I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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