is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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