I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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