I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
