you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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