I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
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