Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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