Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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