In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
