operation harelip BJ is a go
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
