I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize