I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
