just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
