I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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