I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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