Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
there is glitter all over my balls
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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