This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
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