Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
