Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Couch. On fire.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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