I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
