Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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