I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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