We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
