I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
